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I need help...BADLY ! you see, i went to UAE last summer for 3 months and met the man of my dreams...smart,sweet,handsome,loving,caring,sincere,very decent,a gentleman...everything a girl could possibly wish forThe clicked the moment we met.We had something...i don't know what it was, but it was great...we shared a very special connection..a bond.He confessed that he had feelings for me n i did the same..so, we started going out.We were the happiest couple alive.All my friends envied me..because i had the perfect boy and a perfect relationship.We completely understood each other and had minimum fights. we met 3-4 times a week...after 3 months i had to come back to Pakistan to continue my studies and he had to travel to London to continue his...but we promised to stay in touch.Everything changed after that...i guess you can say long-distance took its toll on us.He got extremely busy with his assignments n we didn't have a proper conversation in 2 months ! and then one day he sent me an email saying that it wont work..and that he needs time to sort out his feelings for me ...he said he wasn't sure what he felt for me was really love or just a mere attraction.i was crushed...but i decided to act like I'm okay just to see him happy...but he wasn't..it was clear from the way he talked that he wasn't happy..something was still bothering him...as if leaving me was not what he wanted to do...i tried asking..but failed.we are still great friends...we manage to talk on the phone once a week..stay in contact through face book..and will be seeing each other again this summer..which is about 3-4 months away.I know for sure he isn't seeing anyone nor does he like anyone.I know him very well.And i feel like he is still attached to me although he doesn't wanna show it.And i still feel the strong bond between us ...My question is...this summer, what can i do to get as close to him as possible ? how can i make him open up to me ? how can i make him feel safe ? how can i make him feel its okay ? ...How can i make him mine again ? If he isn't in love anymore, what can i do to get him back in love with me...? i know you can't MAKE someone love you...but what are the things i can do to make him feel like I'm the right girl for him ? i need tips..tricks..pointers..whatever you have !Thank you in advance...sorry for making it too long =]
Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2010 |
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Answer(s)
Can I be frank? You cannot change his mind. He has already ...
Can I be frank? You cannot change his mind. He has already made up his mind. You need to move on. He has already moved on and so should you. If you try any tricks, he may find you manipulative.
Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2010
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you can only wait and see. sometimes pushing too hard is a ...
you can only wait and see. sometimes pushing too hard is a turn off.
Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2010
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Maybe SEX is the trick
Maybe SEX is the trick
Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2010
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wow, I needed eyedrops after reading that long ol' question! ...
wow, I needed eyedrops after reading that long ol' question! jk,
well, I would take a deep breathe and get comfortable with the idea that you may lose him.
that being said, keep it light, remember he has his life where he is and he only has so much attention span. so keep it light, but do share personal things, send him something sweet and personal thru the postal every week or so. share at least one thing you are currently interested in back home every time you do talk, so that he can keep up with your life. you never really can MAKE someone your own, but you can sure keep the bait on the trap, so to speak. it sounds like you really love him, so don't smother him, just hold on loosely, and don't let go. I wish you well.
Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2010
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I think you should book a special holiday for both of you to ...
I think you should book a special holiday for both of you to go on...somewhere nice...it will make your bond stronger and it will show how much your ready to contribute again to the relationship and how strong your feelings for him are.... It looks like he still loves you alot but guys are nott blunt like we are and will try and cover up their feelings... hes more likely to feel as dug up as you, thinking about how your going to find someone else or whatever...but thats more likely to be your mind thinking negative...he seems like a true guy and he would have developed strong feelings for you then so why would it change now...if hes cold hearted than he can switch his feelings on and off...but hes not soo dont worry...but really consider the nice holiday...something for the two of you...nice nights out, dinners ect :D
good luck
Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2010
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When you guys meet, dont start a conversation with "why ...
When you guys meet, dont start a conversation with "why dont you keep in touch?" or something which might hurt him... you might try to get some details about any other girl he might have suddenly been interested in at his study place or anywhere else (dont feel sad if he has.. be cheerful =])...
after you both get comfortable with each other, open up your feelings for him... if he accepts, youre a happy couple, but, if he doesnt, dont lose heart... coz if youre genuine and if you are a true lover, you will get a great man for yourself and he will come on his own...
cheers,
PEACE...
Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2010
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This is tough to answer, because if our collective answers ...
This is tough to answer, because if our collective answers are going to determine your future with him. It makes me question, if you truly love this person, if you're balancing a future together, based on these answers. (No offense) It's just the way it comes off.
It seems you know what you want, so why are you not voicing what you want out of the relationship with him? Why did you automatically let the conversation drop to the " This wont work " degree, without giving your side of the feelings?
- I understand, that you wanted to give him an answer he wanted to hear for his sake/happiness. But do you honestly think that is fair to you or him? Besides you even said it yourself that he wasn't happy with your answer, so were you really doing him a favor by being dishonest about your feelings?
- Keep in mind that for any relationship to even be successful. You have to engage in a fair level of honest communication.
Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2010
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One person said, you may lose HIM. I say, he is gonna lose ...
One person said, you may lose HIM. I say, he is gonna lose YOU. Obviously, just like most men act toward women, he does not value you enough and is willing to let go, rather than learn what it would take to keep you and DO IT. So honey, I say...HE...MAY LOSE YOU. Only give yourself selflessly to someone who really wants/loves you.
Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2010
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